Becoming a mom three years ago on November 8th, 2020, to our daughter Sage, who is now a big sister (cue the mom tears), has forever changed me in the best way possible. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and am forever grateful to have now had two healthy pregnancies and births. I am truly in awe of what the female human body is capable of, and I still can’t grasp my mind around how I carried and birthed two little babies out of my body who are now part of our family. 

Today I’m sharing my second unmedicated birth story from start to finish. Every birth journey and experience is so different which makes each one beautiful and unique in its own way. If you are reading this because you are either preparing to try for a baby, are newly pregnant, or somewhere in between, I hope by sharing my story, I can help bring you some encouragement and peace of mind around it all because I know it can feel scary, overwhelming and well… A LOT when you’re in it. Sending you and your family so much love and support wherever you are in your family planning journey.

For both pregnancies I used a Midwife team which I cannot recommend enough. We used York Region Midwives and they are truly amazing. And no it does not mean you need to have a home birth or no epidural. You can still have a hospital birth with an epidural but I do believe if you have a medically complicated birth they will assign you over to an OBGYN to takeover. Both are covered under our health insurance in Canada. We used Anna White (a Doula in training) who was so amazing to work with and who has such a calm and grounding personality which I loved. Not to mention she was also able to capture photos of my birth which I am so happy to have. A Doula is not covered under our health insurance but if they are also a Naturopath (which our first was) then you can claim them under that if you have personal health insurance with work.

What Happens When You’re Overdue

Once I hit 41 weeks, things started to feel much different than when I was pregnant the first time. (A lot of unknowns) It’s a strange feeling being “overdue.” There are a lot more things you might want to think about, such as if you’re going to book an induction date and, if so, when, extra ultrasound appointments, non-stress tests, etc. I really wanted to wait for when baby Oakley was ready to make his appearance and when my body was ready, so I wanted to wait as long as I could without interventions. I ended up scheduling an induction date but then, at the last minute, pushed it back a few days because I didn’t feel ready. My plan all along was to try for another unmedicated birth like I did with my first pregnancy, which you can read about HERE. Everything extra we did to ensure the baby was okay was coming back good and normal. That made me comfortable extending the induction date as far out as possible because I knew I could always cancel/reschedule it if needed. Honestly, I was feeling great pregnancy-wise (minus the lingering chest infection I had that resulted in a pulled rib muscle. Yeah, ouch!). But the hardest part was all the outside noise from people around me and online. “Are you still pregnant?” “This baby is never coming out!” etc. It was a little stressful to constantly hear, and honestly, next time (if there is a next time), I’m probably going to keep our due date a secret and just give people the month, haha. Because really those due dates you get are a guess on when the doctor thinks the baby will come, not an actual specific date.

Early Labour

I started getting contractions on Saturday night (2 days before Oakley was born), and then they disappeared. Then, just before we were about to go to bed on Sunday night, I felt another set of stronger contractions in a pattern. After an hour or so, they started to pick up. I then realized we needed to figure out if we needed Cloe to come to the house. We called the Doula and went to my parents’ house (closer to the hospital). The contractions were coming on strong and were consistent. Our Doula told Matt to nap and rest while she did some stretching with me and different movements. Around 4:00 am, my contractions pretty much came to a stop, so we decided to go to bed and get some rest. That morning, we had already had a scheduled non-stress test and ultrasound booked at the hospital. So we went to that appointment feeling very tired but also excited to check in on baby and see how things were going. Afterwards, we headed back home and tried to take another nap and get some rest in case contractions picked up again.

My Water Broke

I woke up around 2:30 pm from my nap,  had a snack, and my contractions started to pick back up for a bit and then eventually started to slow down after about an hour or so. Feeling frustrated, I decided to try doing the “The Miles Circuit ” which my midwife team recommended for me to do if my contractions started to slow down. It is a 90-minute circuit of 3 different stretches you hold. It’s designed to help get the baby into position and start moving things. I did the first pose, which is child’s pose, I had a mild contraction, and then I felt a POP!… which I immediately thought must have been my water breaking.

When I stood up, I felt a little water trickle down. I looked at Matt and said, “I think my water just broke.”I went to the bathroom and realized that, yes, my water did in fact break, so Matt quickly called my sister (who was coming to watch our daughter Sage) to tell her she needed to come quickly because things were starting to pick up and we needed to leave to head to the hospital right away. 

I Almost Had a Baby On the Highway!

My sister arrived at the house, and Matt and I left immediately. It turned out it was in the middle of rush hour traffic, and it would take us 45 minutes to get to the hospital.. Eek! We called our midwife on the way so she could meet us at the hospital since we knew things would probably progress very quickly, especially with this being my second pregnancy. That was the longest drive of my life! My contractions were so intense. I remember looking at the GPS and watching the minutes going down, and I 100% thought I would have a baby on the side of the road. 

We finally made it to the hospital, and Matt drove up and parked the car right in front of the doors. I got out of the car and immediately had a very intense contraction and couldn’t move. The people leaving the hospital were so supportive, cheered me on, and got me a wheelchair (It felt like something out of a movie). Let me just say it was a huge relief that we made it to the hospital.

Labour and Delivery at the Hospital

The midwife already had my hospital room ready, so we went straight into a room. Matt got the go-ahead to move the car into long-term parking and ran into our Doula in the parking lot (perfect timing). They both arrived at my room, and I was able to put on a hospital gown (something I didn’t have time for with Sage). I was pretty much standing and swaying/breathing through each contraction, as it was really the only position that felt remotely comfortable to be in. Matt said multiple times that I looked like I was in “the zone,” aka my own world, and just doing my thing, getting through each contraction. They did check me at the hospital when I first got in and I was 7-8 cm, so very far along. I was thrilled that we left the house when we did! 

Even though leading up to this second birth, I was way more nervous than with my first, once I was in labour I felt very confident and trusting in my body. I was on a mission, and I knew what I had to do. I knew I had done it before and could do it again. I focused on working with my breath in between contractions and relaxing my pelvic floor to help my body relax and bring baby down. I used a lot of visualization (I remember picturing a ball floating in the ocean on the waves) to help my mind relax and push through the intensity of those last few contractions. I started to feel the transition phase when you move from dilating contractions to pushing. During this stage I started to feel nauseous, dizzy, and just completely out of it. At one point I even remember smacking my cheeks because I felt delirious. Luckily this phase didn’t last long before I was ready to start pushing.  

Pushing

Once I started to get waves of the urge to push, I right away got on the bed on all fours and began pushing. I knew I needed to breathe through my contractions and ensure each push was intentional. It was the craziest feeling, last time and this time were much different. I felt more in-tune with my body and where I was at as I could feel baby getting lower and lower which was helping me guide my pushing.

The hardest part was when he started to crown and I felt what they call the “ring of fire.” Which honestly feels awful but it’s short lived you just need to push through the uncomfortableness and get passed it. One thing that I did that really helped motivate me to push through this pain was I reached down through my hospital gown, and I felt baby’s head. Feeling his head gave me the incentive I needed to push him out. The midwife told me that I needed to push with everything I had to get him out in one push because his shoulder’s were getting a bit stuck. I remember waiting for the right contraction, almost like a surfer waiting for that perfect wave. I knew that I needed that perfect strong contraction to be able to push Oakley out in one final push. I found out after that I pushed him out i 12 minutes… I guess it’s true what they say about second babies coming out fast.

Cord Cutting

Oakley ended up having his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck twice, which was extremely scary in the moment. He came out and was limp and not crying. (Maybe for only about 5 seconds) but those 5 seconds felt like a lifetime. We planned on doing a delayed cord clamping, but when you cut a baby’s cord, it can help spark babies that need a little extra help. Once my midwife clamped the cord it helped and Oakley started to cry! Then Matt had the chance to look and see that Oakley was in fact a boy! Matt then looked at me and said, “It’s a boy!” and I remember saying Oakley for the first time when I held him. We waited to find out what the gender was for this pregnancy and what an amazing surprise it was to find out we were having a boy which was my guess all along! Mom’s always know 😉

On Monday October 23rd at 6:42 PM, Oakley Kody Goncalves was born, weighing 8.4 lbs and our little baby boy was finally here!

After Birth

Once baby was out and healthy it was time to push out the placenta and checked me out to make sure I wasn’t bleeding to much and was stable from the shock of birth. Birthing the placenta doesn’t hurt it just feels kind of weird but they did need to give me two shots of Oxytocin to contract the placenta/ detach it from my body to help with bleeding.

The actual the after-birth took much longer than the birth itself. I did lots of skin to skin and breastfed for the first time while they finished their checks on me/ all the newborn paperwork done. Once we were ready they checked Oakley out and weighed him. They were coming in to check on Oakley and me every few hours and massage my stomach (the worst!). I find it hard to actually “rest” while in the hospital but luckily we were all able to get some rest. One thing Matt and I did that helped us to be in the moment and take it all in was we completely unplugged for the night. Matt sent a few text messages letting our family know that “baby had arrived and everything was good and we would call them tomorrow.” This allowed us some quiet time and peace, just the three of us. We knew as soon as we came home and became a family of four, life would get a little crazy. The next day after we all were rested we FaceTimed everyone and they got to finally meet Oakley and find out the exciting news of us having a boy.

I am very grateful that I’ve had two very positive birth experiences. I know that this isn’t the case for everyone. I hope sharing my positive unmedicated birth story experience can help new moms (or second, third, etc.) know they can do it. My first Doula with Sage told me something that stuck with me: “Your body won’t put you through pain that your body can handle.” Women were made for childbirth; trust your body and the process.

If you’re planning for a drug free birth and want some tips I share how I prepared for a natural unmedicated birth here.

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